The ICC has consensed the following guidelines as part of the culture we currently uphold within Chicago Reclaiming. We do our best to uphold them in our meetings, classes, events, and on our mailing list.
I-referencing
This means speaking from my own perspective. If I am I-referencing, I cannot speak for anyone else, tell anyone else what they're thinking or feeling, or assume what the reaction to my words will be.
Active listening
This means acknowledging what someone has told me, letting them know that I have heard their voice. It can be done by making good eye contact and responding to any questions, by repeating back what someone has said, or simply by saying, "I hear what you're saying."
Thinking well of others
To think well of others, I believe that their words are genuine, and not meant to hurt, provoke, or manipulate me. I don't question their motives, and I trust that they will be honest about where they're coming from.
No personal attacks
This means not calling names or starting flame wars, nor taking a general issue and making it about one person.
Respecting and participating in consensus process
In order for consensus process to speak to the needs of everyone who will be affected by a decision, everyone involved in the process must be committed to it. This means educating myself about the options ahead of time if necessary, speaking up when I have something to add to the discussion, and keeping silent if someone else has already voiced my thoughts. It means I take the time to understand how the process works, and do my best to contribute positively.
Respecting different opinions
This means allowing for diversity, and treating everyone with respect, even if I don't agree with them. Even if someone else's opinions challenge my core values, I can still hold space for a different world view.
No shaming or blaming
Just as I refrain from personal attacks, I also want to avoid assigning blame or shame to anyone. If I have feedback of any kind --- but especially negative feedback --- this should be done off-list, with compassion and I-referencing.
Personal responsibility
This is more than just claiming my own experience by leaving ritual to use the bathroom if I need to --- it's also taking responsibility for my own actions and reactions. If I am angry, I can look to myself for the reasons.
Brevity with impact
This is one way I can show respect for the group's time and process --- by saying what I need to say in the most clear, concise language I can find, without tangent or extraneous topics.
Responsive rather than reactive
This means responding to the content of a conversation with my thoughts and ideas, instead of expressing an emotional reaction that might only escalate to confrontation and make a situation more difficult to handle.
Taking issues with another person off-list
This doesn't mean I can't share anything personal on the list. It does mean that if I'm having a personal issue with someone on the list --- be it related to their communication style or what they are saying --- I can choose to take that conversation off-list and address it one-on-one, rather than keeping it out on the list, where it could come could across as a personal attack or shaming/blaming.
De-personalizing responses
This means talking about ideas and issues, and not about or to specific people on the list. This keeps the conversation focused and grounded.
Recognizing impact
This means I consider how my words will affect the people I am sharing them with. I think about whether my words might push someone's buttons or offend someone, and whether or not I want that reaction and the potential consequences. I know that words have power, and I use them with respect and compassion.
